Grasping Out Again
by bellaend
Summary: Sequel to 'Help, big brother'. Read that before reading this. Set 6 years after, Sasuke is in University, and has had to leave his life with Itachi behind. What has happened, and what will happen to him, with his new life. Will he ever see Itachi again?


6 years later; December 15th, almost the end of my fifth term at university. A lot can change in 6 years, I had found. I was a new man, no longer a 14 year old boy, or even a 4 year old boy. I was 20, I was at college on my own; I was free.

With glasses perched on the end of my nose, peering through them to write on my new laptop; a present to myself for getting into university; I was just finishing an essay on a book that I had one glance at and deemed it to not be worth my time. It wasn't exactly hard to write an essay for me, especially when English literature is my best subject – the main reason for studying it at degree level. Sighing, I rubbed my temples as I typed the last letter, and the last full stop, clicking save and print.

I looked at the digital clock that my dorm mate insisted on having on the desk, the red letters indicated that it was just past 10pm, excellent. I snaked out of my chair to grab my jacket in place of my glasses, and went in search of . . . her.

I had refused to call her what she wanted to be, for to me, she meant nothing. Before I even made it out side, I got a text. It was like she read my mind, and I made it over to her dorm, instead to the club where she often landed in with her friends on a Saturday night.

Part of the reason I didn't want to be what she saw me as, brought me back all those years ago at the orphanage. I opened the door to walk out into the crisp, cold, black night. She still had pink hair, like back then, the annoying pink hair, the annoyingly sweet voice, pale skin, emerald eyes.

I made it across campus, short cutting across the wet grass, getting dew on my shoes. I scowled at them and ran; it was deserted anyway, apart from the odd drunk 1st year. I eventually made it to her building and opened the door and strode up the stairs.

She was waiting at the top, as always, smiling at me with lipstick on her pink lips. It sickened me how she got drunk every night and slurred her words; it was worse than being whined at. I followed her silently to the dorm and we entered together, not leaving until I went for coffee in the morning after a shower while she slept.

"What are you doing for Christmas, Sasuke-kun?" She asked as I tied up my shoes in the morning. I had woken her up with the shower spray. Grunting in return, I stood up and looked at her naked form covered up by a single sheet.

"I don't know, Sakura." I answered honestly. I raked a hand through my wet hair; it was almost down to my shoulders. She smiled sweetly at me.

"Are you not meeting up with your brother? You . . . used to be very close."

I left after that. Though, it was a good thing that she knew I didn't like talking about my time at the orphanage. She would later exclaim that she was sorry and ask to meet up for 'make up sex', which I would comply. I always felt dirty after, though.

December 31st; I had spent Christmas alone, even though I had many requests. I just got drunk and watched old movies like every year, without exception. With gifts opened and splayed out in many places around my abandoned house, I had an idea that was probably the stupidest I had ever had, but started planning a new year's party.

To be held in the old house I had with my brother, the one I currently inhabited. Everyone I had ever encountered at college I decided to invite, and I knew they wouldn't turn it down. I was Sasuke fucking Uchiha; no-one ever turned me down.

Perfect setting, perfect party; no police men or nosey neighbours were going to interrupt us.

And so, I bought a year's supply of alcohol and a month's supply of food to accommodate the rush of students that were inevitably coming. The first ones arrived at 6.30, before they were supposed to; Sakura and her minions, of course. I had met them about twice, and both times had forgotten their names after they had told me.

I think Sakura caught on though that I had no idea what their names were, and so pointed them out to me again.

"Ino, Hinata, Tenten, Temari, Karin and Konan."

I grunted in greeting at the flock of girls and turned to get dressed; 4 followed to help, and the rest went to investigate the house. How I hated girls. Oh well, plan was to get as drunk as humanly possible, pass out and then leave my butler to clean it up tomorrow as a belated Christmas present.

Happy fucking New Year.

The rest of the guest list arrived about an hour after the girls had and I was looking like a 'sex god', as put by the minions. I didn't really care; I wasn't going to remember what I looked like at the end of it all.

Music had just started booming and I was wandering round with a passive look on my face, not greeting anyone who bothered to say 'hi' or 'nice house', or something similar. I gripped the cup of JD in my hand as it sloshed around, and went to find one of the only person I knew or cared about.

"Hey I got that order you wanted, now the real party can start!"

Sai, ex boyfriend to my room mate, and a right hoot when he wanted to be; other wise, he really didn't give a damn about anything, like me. He flashed two sealed bags in front of my eyes, one bigger than the other; one green, one white. I smirked at him, the only emotion I allowed myself to show, and gripped his arm to pull him out to the big back garden.

I had made sure to illuminate the back of the garden with fairy lights, and proved necessary just as the sun started to set. We started on the weed at first, only allowing certain individuals to sit with us on the wooden toad-stool seats. The sky streaked with colours as we stared up, watching the clouds pass. I had forgotten to refill my cup and had a dry mouth, but couldn't be bothered to stand up.

"Naruto, get me a drink" My room mate huffed out his cheek and stood up drunkily on his feet.

"Why do I have to do it? Lazy bastard" But he took my cup out of my hand. I smirked at his back and called to him as he walked away.

"Because you broke my toy car when we were five, you idiot, and you're still in debt to me!"

That seemed to shut him up.

Yes, fate wasn't on my side when I decided to . . . move on, it seemed as though I had chosen just the wrong Uni to go to; both people I wanted to forget from my past were there, and were more involved in my new life than I wanted.

A few minutes later and I were sipping on a vodka coke, obviously what he thought I needed. But, like usual, I didn't care. I raked a hand through my black hair; I really needed to remember to get it cut. The idiot, Naruto, had just as long hair as me, still a shocking shade of yellow that contrasted greatly with his masculine tanned face.

I was envious of his colouring; I was still bone pale like in my youth – genetic, obviously. His father was just as tanned as him; I'd seen pictures of him.

It was only 8pm when I ended up sprawled out on the grass; I wasn't tired or even out of it really, I just liked it down there staring up at the sky. Sai was on one side of me and Naruto was on the other. And yes, they really had been romantically involved as I said before; Naruto is bi and Sai is openly gay, obvious to anyone who sees his choice of clothes.

I was passed the sealed bag of white powder and snorted it up my left nostril without comment. Music filtered through gaps in the French doors that led to inside. They were opened, and Sakura came running out just as I passed the bag to Naruto, who looked at it like it was a foreign being.

The annoying pink haired girl flung herself on me and clung to my chest, I tried to shrug her off but she held fast. She sniffled at me and looked up into my eyes with tears in her own.

"Sasuke, that mean boy . . . *sniff* he tried to hit on me."

I patted her hair as i turned my eyes up towards the sky. "That's nice dear."

She rubbed her arm over her face, rubbing some of her make up off, making herself uglier.

"Do you not care about me at all?"

"What made you think that I did even a little bit?"

She ran off crying after that, I knew that in the morning she would blame it on the drugs. But in reality, I didn't care.

By 10pm I ended up half way to passing out, still on the floor outside. I was being denied the ability to move by several people, all piled up around me. It was pretty much an orgy. What did I care, once again. Sakura was inside crying her eyes out undoubtedly, or even making out with another guy. Whereas, so was I. I couldn't make sure whether it was Sai, or maybe even Gaara who had joined us some time after Sakura left. It might've been Naruto, but my vision was a little blurry from the alcohol taking effect.

I needed to piss, so I left reluctantly, my throat dry and my tongue tasting salty. It was Naruto, after all. My head was buzzing as I had to make my way through the crowds of people to get to the toilet, finally able to relieve myself after kicking out a few people tongue wrestling; 'tis the season to be jolly, after all.

After getting jumped on the way out by someone emo looking with blue hair, I brushed myself off and made my way back outside after refilling my cup with Vodka or Sambouka or something. It stung my throat and left a twanging feeling in my nose. I snorted up some more coke to get rid of it when I joined Sai again.

Loneliness washed over me as I was rubbing remnants on my gums, and then proceeded to make out with all of the guys there. Not that I cared who they were. I ended up straddling the hips of someone called Shikamaru, running my hands through his long soft locks, getting stroked up my arms by strong hands. My imagination got the best of me and I ended up thinking that I saw red eyes staring into me, black hair in my hands instead of brown. I left abruptly with no reason, hearing 'troublesome' behind my back as I left.

I ended back in the bathroom, splashing my abnormally hot face with cold water. I panted and ignored the pounding hands on the door, wanting to come in. I stared up at the mirror, leaning over the sink, and saw my brother in my reflection.

Just what I needed.

I left and found myself smoking a joint with a boy called Neji on the sofa in the living room. It wasn't ideal, seeing as we were both the smartest/hottest people in our year at Uni, and would probably end up getting crowded by girls after ten minutes.

I smirked, seemed as if he didn't care either. Just like the rest of people there, no-body cared. It was the best feeling in my life.

By midnight, Sakura had found me again and insisted on kissing me as the minute hand hit 12. Everyone was rejoicing and cracking open new beers. I felt stupid to not be passing out by then, it was pointless to stay around for new year's.

I got kisses all round from people who were alone, or just wanted a 'snog' for midnight as I once again went to find Sai. He was outside again, but making out with Gaara, his shirt on the floor beside him. Naruto was positioned a little away from him, snorting a line in the grass. The sky was pitch black, apart from the few stars you could actually see; one of the positives about living far away from civilisation, no light pollution.

I joined the blonde male in the grass and discarded my jacket, even outside it was too hot for me. We both lay on our backs and watched the sky, he was too stoned to speak and be annoying for once. Sai and Gaara eventually left to continue in one of the many bedrooms in the house, leaving me and Naruto.

"Sorry, man, about the car; I didn't even know what I was like 15 years ago" I turned my head to look at him and he was frowning. I smiled a little hazily.

"Me neither, don't worry about it. I should let go of the past" There was a deeper meaning to my words, but he didn't know it. He took my clammy hand and raised it to his mouth, kissing it tenderly. I looked back up at the sky and rubbed my eyes, then proceeded to pass out, just as planned.

February 13th. The party had taken my butler and 2 maids 4 days to clean up. But they got an extra bonus, so they didn't complain, like always.

I was on my way to my dorm from a lecture, and it was a Friday. Friday the 13th. Sakura was planning something big for our 2nd valentine's day as a 'couple'; I was shuddering at the thought of it. Naruto welcomed me as I got in with one of his trade mark grins, and tried to kiss me.

Yeah, ever since the party, he had formed a sort of crush on me or something. He was good in bed so I didn't really mind.

Oh, that, and he let me top him, so it was a good kind of thing we had going.

If Sakura found out, though, we would be over . . . not that I would mind, really. That was half of the point I would have wanted her to find out.

We both found it as a stress relief, in the long run; him from work, me from Sakura.

That night, as he ran his arms up my exposed sweaty torso, I found some comfort in believing that I was loved. I knew that it were not to be true, as my hands found a place at his strong shoulders, perspiration making his tanned skin glitter, almost.

I knew that there was only one person in my life who truly loved me.

February 14th. It turned out that Sakura's 'big surprise' was taking me out to dinner. Since when do girls take guys out to dinner? I bet she wanted me to pay, though, so I tried to dress up nice and made a sort of effort in making it look as if I cared what she was talking to me about and why we were there.

The evening was going alright, the food was good and the wine was excellent. She didn't look half bad, either, spruced up just for a nice night out. But I knew there was something strange around the corner.

"Sasuke . . ." She finally managed to say after two hours of being there. "Will you . . . marry me?"

Well, I wasn't half surprised.

It was still a blow, and took me a while to even breathe after she said it.

I wasn't surprised for the fact that a couple of weeks ago, she had been looking through my stuff and found a copy of my parent's will, stating that I had to marry by the age of 21 in order to keep the family fortune. She, had obviously deemed herself worthy enough to be my wife.

I accepted, reluctantly, thinking I could do much worse, and then paid for the dinner after that. She had bought sexy underwear just for tonight; I didn't take too much notice as I was stripping her out of it.

It was the same as always, minimal foreplay; I hardly ever went down on her. It was disgusting. She had no problem though with placing her cherry blossom lips around my dick, licking and sucking for all she was worth. How her head bobbed up and down with such grace, it made me sick, and only until I had her gagging, deep throating me all the way to the hilt, did I actually start to enjoy myself.

The sex was as usual – boring.

May, plans for the wedding were unfolding quite spectacularly. The date was pretty much set in stone – July the 5th, don't ask why. As long as it was before July 26th, I was in the clear.

I was doing what was expected of me as an Uchiha.

I had made it so that Sakura had basically full control of the wedding, the planning and guest list. I couldn't care less who was going to come, all I had to do was pay for it and then we would probably move away and never have to do any thing again. The fortune would pay for everything, and I would be able to die with a few heirs to carry on the name. Just what was expected. I'm sure Sakura wouldn't even care if I were to go off with a few other people, she would do just the same, the slut.

I was made, though, to go over the guest list just to make sure there was no-one who would crash the wedding, or if there was anyone who I wanted in particular to invite. My black eyes scanned the page and only until I saw an expected, yet unexpected name did I stop. Out of the 300 names that were on the list, there was only 1 that I was hoping to see, and there it was.

_Itachi Uchiha + 1_

I had no other family coming, why would I need to have them come. So, Sakura had of course imposed, annoyingly, that there was at least one family member there. The rest of the guest list was her family and friends.

But why him?

Just as I was about to put a cross through the name, a smile crossed my lips, and I went to go and kiss Sakura on the lips, then start on making food for me her and Naruto.

June 5th. I was out with Naruto, who was to be my best man, buying our tuxes. I had offered to pay for his, seeing as he was struggling to even pay his tuition, and not that money even mattered to me.

We decided to go for traditional black, just like Sakura had gone for traditional white. It was a 'Big Traditional Wedding' as it said on the invitations. Pretty much everyone had said they could come, and we had even received a frantic phone call from Ino who was crying into the phone and wishing the best for us, and of course, she would have all her minions be bridesmaids.

I didn't care about any one of the people, out of who had RSVPd, I was only looking in the mail for a letter from one person.

I was getting changed in the wedding store, a piece of opaque cloth separating me and Naruto, the 'wall' of the dressing room, when it dawned on me. It was so stupid, I was getting married to someone I despised, surrounded by stupid people, deceived by the lie. What was I doing?

I told Naruto but he hushed me, saying it was just pre-wedding blues. I was going back to my 4 year old self, mourning my parents, wishing they were still here so I didn't have to do any of this. I ended up on the floor in my boxers with Naruto's arm around me, kissing the corners of my eyes so I didn't cry. I didn't want him there, but he seemed to think I did.

Stupid idiot, but I kissed him to try to forget, as he wiped my tears away with his tanned fingers, moving to grip in my hair. After 10 minutes of being on the floor I pushed him off me and called him an idiot, and continued to get dressed.

We both bought the tuxedos and loaded up into my car to return home.

"I know you don't like Sakura, and I know that deep down, she has no real feelings for you to" I turned my head to glare at him but he was looking out of the window. I looked back at the road, as if to ask: your point?

After a few minutes he turned his torso to face me, but I didn't meet his gaze.

"Please, don't do this . . ."

I left the atmosphere thick and silent, what would I say to that?

"Sasuke, I" it sounded like something got caught in his throat, his voice became thick. "I love you."

"No you don't" I said without hesitation, and left it at that. I think he got the impression that I didn't want to talk.

We got back to our dorm and packed the suits into the closet. I sensed that he was still hanging on his last words, so I stared into his big blue eyes. They were swimming, like the sea, sparkling in the dimly lit room. I hadn't known it was so late.

I sighed and closed the gap between us, kissing away his pain as he had done with me. But, I think what made it worse, was that he knew I didn't feel the same. But I still knew that he didn't love me, it was impossible to love me.

June 30th and the semester was about to finish, finally. Only a few days until the marriage and everything was set. We'd heard back from all those who were invited, and about 80% of them were coming. Well, all but one, which I wasn't bothered about any more. I had built up a wall of defense, what would happen if he did show up?

Nothing, I told myself over and over.

I wasn't going to go back to being that 4 year old boy, bruised and beaten, comforted and warm, only to have it taken away again like when I was 15, almost 16. It was so unfair that I wanted to cry, go into a ball and cry every time I thought about it.

Not any more, though.

It was just a right of passage in a way. He moved onto University, onto people who meant something to him. I meant nothing to him, so he just tossed me aside like a rag doll, made me fend for myself.

No, I wasn't going to be pathetic and weak anymore. I was soon to be a husband, and not long after that, become a father; as soon as possible, in fact. Sakura had even gone off the pill just so she could grant me that wish; a child.

It was only when I got back from the shops did I notice something strange – I had only nipped out for some orange juice and eggs. There was an ivory envelope on the mat of the dorm. I stared down at it and noticed the penmanship instantly. I dropped the bag; Naruto wasn't home so it didn't matter. I picked it up with trembling hands, recalling a similar incident happening one day 5 years ago.

This letter though, was to say that he was coming, not leaving.

He was coming here.

With another person.

It seemed as if he had already told Sakura, seeing as he ended the letter with:

'I'll be looking forward to seeing the soon to be Sakura Uchiha at the rehearsal dinner'.

It took every ounce of self control in my body to not tear up the letter and cry.

July 4th and the rehearsal dinner was at 8pm. Itachi arrived at a near by hotel at 10am, he had left early, for whatever reason. Of course, I only found this out when the phone rang. Me and Naruto were playing on our joint X-Box 360 (he couldn't afford half of a PS3) and I paused the game to answer it, which he un paused and started winning. I was about to bite his head off when I put the phone to my ear, but then heard a sigh on the other end.

"Otouto?"

Freezing, I had to control my muscles so I wouldn't collapse to the floor in a pool of jelly. Naruto with his back turned didn't see my expression of pure terror, but I could feel it on my face. I didn't like it.

For the 4th time in my life, someone had made me speechless.

After a minute I heard him chuckle.

"Or have I got the wrong number?"

That time, I had to speak. "No, no, I'm here. Aniki . . ." My voice cracked on the last word.

I could almost see his smile. "Hello, Otouto, how are you?"

"Not bad . . ." Naruto had turned to face me, an eyebrow raised. I think he was as shocked as me.

"Good. Would you like to meet with me in town for a while? I've missed you so, and it's about time we caught up."

I said yes, almost immediately, hoping that his idea of catching up was the same as mine. Cussing as I hung up, I pulled on my jacket and left in a hurry, telling Naruto where I was heading. I didn't bother to look back at his face, I'm sure he looked very upset. Not that I cared.

I went in a flourish to the desired meeting place of my brother; the memorial park. He said he was coming alone, and that made me even more hopeful. But I reigned that hope back in, I was sure to be crushed if I let my imagination run wild.

It was only until I was at the traffic lights to cross to go to the park that I noticed that it was sunny; a hot sunny summer's day. I removed my jacket and held it in my hand as I crossed, not allowing my heart to get too frantic, and failing. It felt like it were to pound out of my chest as I scanned the park for only one face, one that I would never forget.

The grass was luminous in the sun and almost blinded me. I continued my search and looked at my watch, it was 2 minutes past the time he said he would meet me. I looked up at the near by clock tower to see if my watch was wrong, but it wasn't.

Itachi was never late.

I went and sat on a bench under the shade of a tree, so I wouldn't get burnt. Behind me were more trees; in front was a vast amount of grass. It seemed as if everyone was out enjoying the nice day. I looked on at happy families, happy couples with children playing in the sun. Looking at each other with affection in their eyes, feeding each other strawberries from picnics they had gathered together.

I folded my arms as if in a tantrum and pouted, why was he late? Was he building my hopes back up again only to crush them?

I was about to give up after 10 minutes when I felt cool hands press against my eyes, blocking my view. I gasped and put my hands over his, a jerk knee reaction. It was what we used to do when little, when greeting each other.

He chuckled throatily behind me and put his lips to my ear, I could feel his hot breath on my neck and I had to resist the urge to shiver.

"Hey there, Otouto, sorry I'm late"

I didn't mind.

He slid into the seat beside me and smiled at me, I smiled back, then looked at the floor afraid that I might cry.

We talked. We talked about everything and anything, how his life was, what he was doing, what I was doing. He told me of his new 'lover', Deidara. Not that I wanted to hear about him, it brought up a lump in the back of my throat.

It was just like when we were 4 and 8, and he was my big brother, and he held my hand as we walked and stroked my hair and told me it was all alright, and how big I'd gotten.

How much of a man I was now compared to back then.

We went into a cafe to have some coffee before we departed – him back to the hotel, me back to my dorm to get ready. Everything wedding related, other than stuff for the rehearsal dinner, was already at the house. He was seeming to find it funny, how I was getting married.

"Seriously, I would've bet on you being gay" He smirked at me as I traced the rim of my cup with my index finger. I heard, but wasn't listening, and so nodded. He frowned and pulled my head up to look at him with a finger under my chin.

"Sasuke, something is the matter." It wasn't a question, it was a statement, he pulled his hand away and beckoned for me to continue.

"Why?" It came out as an almost whisper, and even though I didn't think he even heard it, or could make sense of the single syllable, he sighed as if it was bad news.

"I had to; if you still haven't seen after all these years, understood what I put in that letter-"

"How could you leave me, though? Not just like _that_, but as my brother! I needed you." I could feel my voice rising so I tried to keep it down along with my hysteria level. I clenched my teeth and hissed. "How could you think it was the right thing?"

"Because, Sasuke, I was not right for you. We are Uchiha and need to carry on the line" He stuck out his jaw like an immature child. "I needed to let your life continue, so you could find a partner, a wife, have children, have a life. I was not for you."

I was glad that no-one was able to hear us, or we would have been arrested that day for sure. I paid for the coffee and we both left without a word, but he walked me to the University, saying he wanted to see where I went to school. I gave him a brief tour, and then we ended up outside my dorm room. It was 5pm, and I had to be getting ready. It seemed as if he had the same idea and looked at his watch.

"I should go" he stated, still looking down. I didn't know what to say, it seemed as if there was a double meaning behind his words. _Yes, you should, but you can't_ . . .

He hugged me before he left and I held him close, gripping his shirt tightly and breathing in his scent; it was different to how I remembered, but still just as good, like a reinvented ice cream, a new recipe.

I wanted to ask him to stay, to put every thing right, but I knew that he would say no so I didn't ask. I just kissed his lips once before he went, and he went too quickly for my liking.

I went into my dorm and had a shower in a daze, answering Naruto's question of 'did you have fun?' with a simple "Yes".

At 8pm, I arrived at the hired out club with Sakura perched on my arm, her lips stained bright pink instead of the usual red. We both matched, dressed in black. Her perfume lingered with my cologne and stung my nose, I tried to look away as much as possible to breathe clean air. Naruto had arrived 20 minutes before us to greet guests like the good 'best man' he was. The minions were all dressed identically, and everyone looked as if they were having a good time, gobbling up the lies and quenching their thirst with deceit.

They all applauded as they saw us walk down the stairs into the club, the music quietened but didn't die, and we all seated ourselves around a massive table. It was laid out with black napkins, raided from one of my draws at the house, each one with an Uchiha fan on it. I raised my eyebrow when I saw mine, but decided to not ask about it, I gave Sakura free reign, after all.

The speeches started after we were all eating, Naruto was first with the best man speech. He ended up making people laugh, like he had hoped, then led it on to Ino with her maid of honour speech.

It all droned on endlessly, and I only nodded when Sakura turned to look at me. In truth, I just wanted to get as much of the expensive wine they had in me so I could look as if I was enjoying myself.

After about 5 speeches, I thought that it was all over, until another decided to stand up.

"Well, it looks as if my little brother has finally decided to get shacked up!"

I didn't bother to listen to his 'speech' as I stared at him. I didn't hear his voice, he was here. I only heard the odd word of 'brother' and 'love' and 'marriage' that made my heart swell, enough to burst; but not from joy.

He raised his glass and I saw who was sitting next to him when he moved his arm; a male with bright blonde hair and dazzling blue eyes, he reminded me of Naruto but with longer hair and an emo fringe. He smiled at me when he caught me looking, though it looked evil.

"To Sasuke."

The male I believed to be Deidara raised his glass as a prompt, and grinned at me. That time, it was definitely evil.

"To Sasuke and Sakura" Everyone said in unison, adding on the other name in a response to her pout, which she smiled at and said along with them, clanging each other's glasses together.

Itachi sat back down and raised his glass to me again, smiling sincerely, before turning to knock his glass against Deidara's, then kiss him square on the lips.

My heart began racing again, like before, and all of a sudden I had to breathe. I had to get out of there. I excused myself before leaving, they wouldn't miss me, they were too busy drinking and eating again to notice.

I stalked out to the car park, thanking that it wasn't a usual summer night and that it was cold, crisp, just like a winter's night. I cussed and pulled out a much needed cigarette that I had taken up at the age of 16. I lit it and inhaled, feeling the nicotine run to my head, making me a little happier, less stressed. I exhaled and looked up at the sky. It was 9pm, and starting to turn dark; the sun had already set.

Without noticing, another figure had appeared beside me. I knew who it was and so started to walk across the car park, trying to shake them loose, but they followed me.

I gave up and stopped next to a red Ferrari and turned to my stalker.

"Why are you here?"

"Why are you?" He countered, stepping closer to me. I took a drag on my cigarette and breathed out the smoke after a while.

"I don't have time for your mind games, so why don't you go back in there and enjoy yourself with your boy friend" I spat. He didn't even look phased by my out burst.

"Why did you leave?" He obviously meant the club, so I countered with something deeper.

"Once again, why did you?" Itachi sighed and took a few more steps towards me, about a metre separating us. My heart was pounding again, out of rage this time.

"You know why I did; please don't bring this up again." I took one last drag and put it on the floor, not bothering to finish it, stomping on it with my expensive Italian shoe.

"Please, if I knew that, do you really think I'd be out here right now?" He looked a little torn, between smirking at my immaturity, and comforting me at the same time for it.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Sasuke."

"Bullshit." It felt like the same conversation we had so many years ago now.

He came towards me again and I stepped back, my legs stopping as they hit the car behind me. I looked back, it was the red Ferrari.

"Do you like my car?" I looked back at him and he was smirking, still stalking forward. He bent me over the bonnet, and I puffed my cheeks out at him in disbelief. He grinned at me.

"Yeah, I like it too."

And he kissed me; that sneaky bastard.

That night, I had to stay in the house anyway, and Itachi came back with me, explaining to Deidara that I was shook up about the wedding and needed to comfort me. This time, it was like old comforting.

He panted as I removed his shirt from his torso, allowing me to look at his creamy abs, that perfect, strong chest that used to belong to me. He broke the kiss to do the same to me, undoing the buttons on my shirt with concentration. It was agony, he was taking so long. I ripped his hands away and practically tore my shirt off, popping off a few buttons. He smirked at my impatience.

"Same as always, little brother?"

"Shut up." I silenced him with another kiss.

We ended up on the big four poster bed that he and I used to sleep in, rolling around and tugging each other's hair as we tried to discard each other's clothing. He moved to kiss and suck my neck as I pulled down my trousers, only boxers standing in each other's way. He bit and sucked, giving me a hickey, that I gasped and hissed at.

"Mine" He proclaimed as he then licked and kissed the spot, wrapping his arms around me. It felt like my heart would explode for the second time that night, but this time for a good reason, like how it was supposed to be. This was the reunion I was hoping for.

It was after 3 shared blowjobs that he began to stretch me. I was still angry, and took it out on him as he caused me discomfort.

"Don't tell me you didn't miss this?" I gasped on the last word as he put a third finger inside of me. He smirked and kissed my lips.

"I do, I can't lie. But I'm sure you found a substitute in my 'absence'-" I silenced him with an Uchiha trademark glare.

"I never loved another, Itachi." It felt wrong to say his name. He frowned and stopped, pulling his fingers out.

"That's not how it was supposed to be" He pulled away and stood up without warning, and began pulling his clothing back on. I stared at him in disbelief and sat up; why had he stopped?

"What are you doing?" I said with a slightly softer tone.

"I'm going back to Deidara" He pulled on his trousers.

"No! You can't go, you promised me you would stay!" I scrambled off the bed and grabbed his arm, he turned and stood over my naked form.

"Sasuke, you have to let it go. We've both moved on." He moved, shaking my hand off his arm. I wasn't strong enough to hold him. He bent over to pick up his shirt that was on the floor as I picked up an empty vase and threw it just where his head had been.

It smashed and shards bounced off the walls. He stopped, still bent over with his shirt in his hands. I stood angrily, my chest heaving and my nostrils flaring, like a child having a temper tantrum, like when Sakura had stopped my toy car back in the orphanage, or when Naruto had broken it. When Itachi had left the first time, when I found out I had to marry.

I was angry.

He was too, as it seemed. He stood up and strode over to me. Before I could feel or see it, he was gripping my jaw.

"You pathetic piece of shit, what good is there in throwing things, huh? What makes you think I would want to stay around with an immature brat who can't claim responsibility for anything?" He bellowed and I could hear it reverb off the walls.

He hadn't yelled at me since I hit Naruto in the orphanage.

He left shortly after and I wanted to cry again, I curled up in a ball on the bed and inhaled his scent, letting the tears flow without any sobs, though they contained in my chest.

He didn't want me, and he went back to his slut of a boy friend, and I was getting married the day after to a girl I despised.

I fell asleep wrapped up in the sheets and awoke to the door being knocked on loudly.

July 5th; the big day.

It turned out the annoyance was Naruto, there to prompt me into getting ready. I let him in and he made breakfast while I showered, I hoped he didn't smell Itachi on me. I walked down into the kitchen, towelling my hair and wearing only a bath robe, and ate the full English breakfast on my plate. He was babbling on, like Naruto would, saying how excited he was, and hoping that there were going to be hot friends of Ino there, always looking at my face for some kind of reaction to that. I gave him one: nothing.

After breakfast, I got dressed slowly, and then waited for my brother and his boy friend to arrive in the car so we could go. It sounded weird, _Itachi + 1_ was what the invitation said, though.

The car arrived on time with the other 2 males inside, and Naruto straightened my tie before we went to get in. He noticed the hickey on my neck but said nothing, only smiled and kissed my lips before sighing and opening the door.

"Let's get this show on the road."

11am, at the church thing. It really was a big wedding that Sakura had planned; so many flowers and rows of ornately decorated benches. She really had gone all out; or I had, seeing as I was the funding behind the wedding. I walked up the aisle to take my spot at the front with Naruto. The argument with my brother was in my mind as I tried to remember my untruthful vows; all I had to remember was something about loving Sakura forever and caring for her with all my heart, yada yada. The family's lawyers were here, invited out of politeness, so they could witness me marrying a woman, and therefore inheriting my share of the family fortune that was steadily growing.

I think that's part of the reason why Sakura liked me so much.

Itachi and Deidara joined me and Naruto at the front, not that I paid any attention. They kissed and chuckled and whispered things to each other when I had my back turned at them, rage bubbled inside me again and I wished that I had another vase within grasping distance.

And then everyone was quiet, and music started, not the wedding march yet. And all of the bridesmaids started filtrating out of a small door at the back, each with a man on their arm. Some I recognised from the party, I think Shikamaru was with the one with 4 blonde pigtails.

And then, the wedding march started, and everyone stood up. I was getting impatient of standing at the altar, with everyone staring at the back door, waiting for the slut to come out. I only felt 2 pairs of eyes on my back, one inevitable, one unwanted. I was still mad at Itachi, yet out of the corner of my eyes I could see that he was staring at me, egging me on.

The march was painfully slow as I watched Sakura and her adoptive father walk down the aisle, her long ivory dress was poofy yet elegant as she took strides, her 'father' trying to keep up with his stumpy legs.

Then she arrived at the altar and she was blinking back tears, her porcelain face caked with make up and her hair put into a bun on the top of her head. I walked forward and pulled her veil back from her face and looked passively into her eyes, then turned towards the priest.

It was so long; I was told that it took no time at all, but I had never been so bored in my life. When it came to the vows, I almost forgot to speak on my cue, but I did, and got it over with.

When she said "I do" and I placed the ring on her finger, where it would undoubtedly stay until either I or she died, and I kissed her pouty lips, feeling moisture running from her eyes, making her make up run. Pathetic.

We both turned and left hand in hand, her grinning like Naruto, me glaring a little. Everyone followed us like a funeral procession, which is what it felt like. I felt so angry from last night still that I didn't care about the rice that was being thrown at us, or the tugging on my arm as I was ushered into a car by Sakura to leave for our honeymoon on our private jet. Naruto, Itachi and her parents piled into the next car behind us and followed us to the air port.

An hour long drive and we all got out, Sakura was still laughing as she was joined by her parents and we all went to the mini airport, just to get our luggage loaded and go to the toilet and stuff.

I hung back and was accompanied by Naruto and Itachi as I walked; it felt awquard to have them both there.

I went to wash my face in the empty men's room; it was large and elegant, only for first class fliers.

Itachi came in as I was looking into the mirror, and glared at him in it. It looked like my eyes were red from the angle, but then I blinked and it was gone.

He smiled at me and walked over to clap my on the back.

"Well done, you're finally hitched" He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, but could tell I wasn't budging out of my mood. He still towered over me, after all these years, and I felt like I was 14 again.

After knowing that I wasn't going to talk, he continued.

"So, I guess you're going to have kids now? Continue on the name?" I nodded, not trusting my voice or emotions to remain stable. "That's great . . ."

I turned my body to him and inhaled deeply. "Is it?" he frowned and looked at me sceptically.

"It should be; this is what was intended for you, for us."

"Intended, but not wanted."

He couldn't argue with that. I waited a long time before speaking again.

"Stop me from doing this, please. You know what I want, and I never want to go back."

"Sasuke, we can't. Now that they know, they would come looking for us-"

"We can change our names" I was getting distraught again. "We can run away together, you and me. Just us."

"No, Sasuke."

His words cut deeper than intended.

"Then how about we keep it a secret? I go on my honey moon, come back with a knocked up Sakura, we continue on with this facade and you and I will . . ." I was painting a picture I didn't want to see, that I didn't want to let go of. He shook his head and kissed my forehead, then ruffled my hair.

"I love you, but-"

"But nothing, that should be it, Itachi! End of it."

"And what would we do? Would we be like back at the orphanage? You clinging onto me, while I work, while we go into hiding? We can't live on love, Sasuke, we can't eat or drink it. We will suffer."

I knew he was right but I wanted to believe it wasn't true, that we would be alright like before.

And that was it. End of it.

I went on the honey moon after Itachi left. I didn't pay any attention to the location, only ate and slept when told, and in between that, 'made love' to Sakura.

I tried to occupy my mind with activities; swimming, surfing, drinking, oh, how I drank.

But none of it was enough.

We returned back to England after 3 weeks and went on with our lives, living in that hose as a married couple.

A new account was opened in my name after that for 3 million. Sakura was pleased.

A month later and Sakura told me that she was pregnant; I was happy, but not for the reason she wanted.

A year later and we had a healthy boy, we called him Ryuu, the son I wanted, and I began to raise him how he needed to be; like an Uchiha. I hired strict nanny's and soon he was taking after any Uchiha, doing what he was told, when he was told. And I was proud of him; though I was turning into my father.

A few months after Ryuu's 1st birthday, and Sakura was pregnant again, this time with a girl. I always hoped to have a boy and a girl, and my dreams were coming true. She had ebony hair, like her brother, but with emerald eyes instead of black eyes. I didn't like looking into her eyes, but she was an Uchiha, and was to be raised like one too. I called her Mayumi.

4 years later and I spoiled the kids rotten; I often got cheques from their uncle for birthdays and Christmases, not that I needed them. I didn't actually know how Itachi knew about them, seeing as I never told him. Sakura must have been keeping in contact with him, much to my annoyance.

It was almost Mayumi's 5th birthday, and Sakura went out to get some groceries. I got a phone call half an hour later from the hospital that there had been a car crash, and that my wife and my children's mother was dead. She was announced dead as the ambulances arrived on the scene. It was agonising having to tell my children, they wept and I wept with them. For, even if I didn't love her, she was still there for my children, and I looked at her like a sister.

It seemed as if Itachi was also notified, for he was soon calling. He told me that he had to come and meet me. I obliged, because I knew that Ryuu and Mayumi needed some comfort, and who better to give it than their uncle. He told me that he and Deidara had split up, not that I cared. I had a family, and he left me.

He arrived on my porch mid Tuesday when the kids were at school; they were growing up so fast. I opened the door and saw him with a grave expression on his beautiful face – I didn't see it, I just pushed all my anger that I was meant to feel against him, all my angst, all my sleepless nights and unhappy days and hugged him and wept into his shirt. He patted my back just like I was 4 again, and carried me in his strong arms to my room.

"You've lost weight" I guessed that he thought the reason was because my wife had died.  
He pulled my clothes off me and put me in the bath, only to join me a few minutes after I wouldn't stop crying. He pulled me against his chest and washed my hair as my eyes ran dry – the shampoo was green, and smelled of sage.

He towelled my hair after I got out, smiling goofily at me, and wrapped me I the big towel, then picked me up again in his arms and put me down on the bed. I let my head sink into the pillow and he stroked my cheeks and kissed the corner of my mouth, willing me to go to sleep, stroking the bags under my eyes.

I said no stubbornly and he chuckled.

"Same old Sasuke"

And he kissed my lips just like how he used to; and I, without thinking, kissed him back.

Before I knew it he was pulling my towel off me and was running his hands down my naked torso, slipping his tongue into my mouth. I ran my hands through his hair and twisted them into it, not caring if it hurt him. He discarded his own towel and was abruptly pulling out a bottle of lube from the drawer that I always kept in there, and popping the cap off. After coating his fingers with the slick substance, he inserted one small finger into my puckered opening, forcing a moan out of me.

It wasn't long before he finished stretching me and was coating his penis with lube. He broke the kiss and looked down at me, his eyelashes casting shadows on his pale cheek bones.

"You know, once I do this, there's no going back. Even if you refuse me, I'm going to take you up on your offer that you made all those years ago."

I nodded before he even finished.

"Just pretend that we're starting where we left off 11 years ago" And for the umpteenth time, he couldn't argue with what I said.

He plunged into me deeply and it felt like I was a virgin again; we both hissed in pleasure and pain as I constricted around him, and he almost split me into two. After pausing he kissed my face and built up a rhythm, angling to attempt to hit my prostate. And when he did, it felt so heavenly.

I grasped onto his big shoulders, caressing the skin, loving the feeling of the sweat that built of at my finger tips. He ran his hands through my hair – still too long for my liking, and melted me into submission. Over and over he thrusted, and over and over he hit that little bundle of nerves that I'd wanted to have him hit for over a decade. It felt like I finally had my dream come true. Wrapping my slim legs around his waist, I angled so he would enter me deeper, building us both up to our climaxes.

And just as we both reached it, my heart over flowed with heat and longing.

"I love you Sasuke" He breathed on my cheek after collapsing; I was still seeing stars and had to wait a moment to calm myself before replying with the imminent:

"I love you too."

He ended up moving back in with me and we lived on together, not needing any of the outside world. The lawyers visited and came to the conclusion that, because he was there for me when our parents died, that I needed him there for when my wife died.

My children grew up strong and smart, and we tried to spend as much time with them both as we could. Mayumi grew up beautiful and loved art, like my mother, and literature, like me. Ryuu grew handsome and strong, and loved math and science, and became a doctor, like his mother had wanted to be.

I stopped wearing my wedding ring after about a year, the need for it was no longer desired; I'm sure Sakura would under stand, wherever she was.

I visited her grave often with our children, bringing Sakura blossom clipped from our own garden. Itachi joined us some times to pay his respects. And sometimes we came alone, to not only give her grave a visit, but also to visit our parents' grave, putting a lily on theirs.

And then we would walk, hand in hand, back to the red Ferrari that belongs to my brother and we would kiss each other on the lips before getting in.


End file.
